Becoming More Like The Old Man Who Watches His Lawn

I dunno if you have ever seen a neighbor like this, but his (yes HIS) life is typically decorated like this:

His house is average looking. But that’s not the characteristic you’re looking at, no, you’re distracted by the (seemingly) thousands of tiny flags standing at attention around the front yard.

You get a tinge of the creeps and you notice a shape inside the house. By the time your eyes adjust to that corner of the elongated window, the figure is gone.

You then notice how pristine the grass is, all swaying at the same length. You wonder if this is nature’s synchronized swimmers.

The loudly proud front lawn begins to feel overwhelming. You just…it probably feels like the softest grass on the entire planet.

A part of you wants to just take a chunk of it home.

The moment the breath from your gaping mouth mingles with the still air around the property, the old man is yelling at you.


I have not had this personal experience with such a neighbor, but I have SEEN THE TINY FLAGS.

So boundaries:

Don’t be this asshole. Honestly, it’s super unnecessary.

But there’s something to admire here with his flags. Don’t fuck with this guy’s lawn. He is making it clear to everyone without them asking that he has boundaries and he is clearly defining them to other people.

You didn’t ask, but don’t disrespect me. I will be very impolite and probably tell you nuggets about yourself that you try to ignore because they’re hard to swallow.

That’s a toxic example of boundaries, but telling those around you that certain behaviors aren’t okay is the point.

People can’t read your damn mind.

If someone makes you feel bad, tell them _________ made you feel like ________ and you would appreciate it if they didn’t express that again.

Tell people your “oh-no-no’s” as talked about here from the show Parks and Rec. Also observe all the boundaries very clearly stated in this clip.

Do more of this with other people. They will like your honesty and it’ll make your life a lot easier, actually.

What are some of my oh-no-no’s?

  1. Not watching Parks and Rec
  2. Being rude to wait staff/strangers
  3. Acting purposefully mean to people you call “friends”
  4. Not taking climate change seriously
  5. Never listening to Ginuwine

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