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Multiple personality disorder is no longer the acceptable term for it, now it’s called “Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).” I remember that by thinking, “oh no, Kevin from the movie Split D.I.D. some crazy shit with his personalities!”

This is an extreme, trauma-covering disorder not to be compared to this post’s topic, but I guess I’m trying to hyperbolize that we all have multiple versions of ourselves.

It’s interesting to watch yourself grow and adapt over the years, whether from the influence of the people around you, the situations you’re challenged with, and/or just from picking up on a few interests here and there. We’re all reborn after a cycle, and the cycle comes in different lengths and is circulated via life’s testaments.

I’m not sure what spreads the fear of change among us, but most of us are terrified of growth when it extends away from the path we’ve laid before ourselves. Along with this fear is a resistance of self; we trap ourselves in strings of shame that are tied to a past version of who we were. We grow and become better or changed for one reason or another, but we continue to hold on to the mistakes, poor judgments, and toxicity we previously emulated. Even when those decisions no longer feel connected to our present self.

It’s healthy to keep in touch with your demons.

Sometimes those demons look just like you, but with a previous haircut, or with weirdly juvenile phrases flooding out of its mouth.

The first step to moving forward is acceptance.

Some people may disagree and choose “forgiveness.” I choose acceptance because it’s practical and more removed than forgiveness. Acceptance allows you to see a situation or person for who they are/were and allows you to let go and not become entangled in the past. Forgiveness takes more steps, with most of them forcing you to get much closer to a hurtful or traumatic experience. I’m not arguing that one is better than another, maybe just the two routes at the fork in the road.

Forgive/accept that you have had many versions in this lifetime and will continue to do so. Forgive/accept that yes, you made mistakes and maybe were a version of yourself that you don’t comprehend now. Pat your former selves on the backs, but resist the urge to hold their hands in a line as you step forward.

It’s much more difficult to drag a group of people into a new situation than just yourself. Maybe keep these people in the loop about your present, but you don’t need to hold on so tightly. Welcome their existences, but also recognize that they are temporary exchanges.

Continuing to let the negative, past versions of yourself hold you back will do just that until you cut the cord. Choose the lessons over the ghosts. Thank those past selves for them and let them go. Russian dolls don’t break apart when they are unpacked from one another. They all nest together without affecting each doll’s unique artistry.

Rejoice in the person you are now, who can maybe see moments hurtling toward you at a slower pace. Now you can adjust and consider the right response and handle it better than you did 1 month, 1 year, or 1 decade ago.

Painting and trying on different personalities in this lifetime makes you more wise and interesting. Don’t allow fear or shame or doubt take the reigns as you move forward in time. Now you know what trails are more difficult or treacherous than another and can navigate with what experience has taught you.

Rise above and shed your old self. Your lowest point is just the end of one cycle, and a new one will follow and allow the edges of your being take a firmer but more resilient shape.